Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
