and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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