Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
