is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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