I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
