Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
