Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
