How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize