hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
