The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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