And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We got so high we made milksteak
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
