Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
