Me too!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
