...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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