Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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