He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
