Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
