Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So squirting runs in the family.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
