my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
