a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
