FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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