then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
