Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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