So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize