Buhtt sex?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
