I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
