im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
