ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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