True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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