I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
