we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
