At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
