Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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