im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
