Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
MIDGETS
????
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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