Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think your dad took our porno
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
