its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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