I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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