she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
