i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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