Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
dude. I can hear the air.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
