Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
