do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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