Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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