im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There are leaves in my underwear?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
