All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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