The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
