I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
