Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
