Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My life is pants optional.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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