I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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