I will die if light touches me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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