who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She's the barista slut.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
