I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize