and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
