Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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