i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sext me about skeletons
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
