Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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