god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
should my penis look like a turkey
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
