Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
